conversations with offenders [round 3]...

In honor of me finding a new job and no longer working at the prison, I thought I'd share some more funny conversations. You can also view round 1 and round 2.

Me: Uggh I left my tampons over on phase 2.
Other nurse (not paying attention to me at all): Do you want one of my Reese's sticks?
Me (confused): Umm... that's not really gonna help me.

In self defense training the instructor shows me a move & says: Then run & find a big, strong officer.
Me: Big & strong? We have those?
Entire class of new officers in the academy: Ooooh ouch.
Instructor: To you, Miss 112 Pounds, they're ALL big & strong.

Offender1 to me: Man, that's a pretty badass watch. That looks nice. Pink. Cute.
Me: Thanks
Offender1 to Offender2: Were you there when we were looking at those watches in that magazine? Her's is like the one I was going to get my daughter. That pink one. It's pretty nice.
Offender2: Yeah...
Offender1: But now that I know it's an old lady's watch, I'm not getting it for my daughter!

CNA: I dressed up as aunt Jemima, the black nanny from Gone with the Wind. I was a black woman! We have pictures!
Me: Aunt Jemima?! She's the syrup bottle lady.
Offender: That's Mrs Buttersworth!
Custody Officer: You mean the pancake mix lady.
Me: Oh. Yeah.

Offender: Ash, what are you doing here on a Saturday?
Me: Rebecca quit so I'm filling in.
Offender: She quit?! Why, did she get married?
Me: I don't know if she got married, she just quit. Are you saying I can quit too if I get married??
Offender: Yes! I only got 11 years left!